Students succeed with parent-teacher communication & partnerships
We know it takes a village to raise a child. That’s why building relationships with parents is essential. Start with student-centered parent communication.
Let’s take a look at why communicating with parents is more challenging than ever, and why it’s worth the effort to build relationships. Then we’ll review some actionable advice for connecting with students’ families.
Parent-teacher communication: what’s behind the disconnect
In theory, technology makes it faster and easier to communicate today. Yet teachers increasingly struggle to connect and build positive relationships with parents and caregivers. Here’s why:
Misunderstandings. There are so many ways people can misinterpret the meanings of text and email messages. Especially between people from different generations. There are also differing expectations about when and how quickly we should respond.
Lack of filters. People will say inflammatory things in a text that they would never say face-to-face. This is called the online disinhibition effect, and it heats up many communications between parents and teachers, leading to damaged relationships.
Culture of judgment. Polarized attitudes and viewpoints have created a habit of treating others antagonistically and with disrespect. Especially teachers, because parents lack an understanding of the difficulty of the job. Also teachers may start out on the defensive because we’re so used to being criticized.
Poor quality communication. Quick messages can be sent without much thought, and those poorly communicated messages result in poor quality relationships.
Overcoming these obstacles requires us to think strategically and make a deliberate effort to improve parent communication.
Why build relationships & communication with parents?
It’s worth our time and effort to enhance parent communication and build partnerships. Here’s how everyone benefits:
Benefits for teachers:
- Build trust, understanding, and rapport by modeling appropriate communication and behavior
- Reduce classroom behavior issues
- Improve effectiveness
- Make our jobs easier and more rewarding
- Improve our stress levels and attitude (at work and at home)
Benefits for students:
- Improve attendance
- Lower stress levels
- Improve behavior
- Boost motivation and resilience
- Improve academic performance
Benefits for parents:
- Build trust that educators have their child’s best interest at heart
- Less worry about children’s future
- Feeling connected to the classroom and school community
- More likely to take advantage of school resources
Benefits for school districts:
- Improve staff job satisfaction and reduce turnover
- Greater student academic success
- Fewer disciplinary problems
- More parent engagement and support for programs and fundraising
- Building trust helps prevent legal action
Parent communication: key messages & goals
To improve communication, we can start by prioritizing messages that families need to hear from their child’s teacher, such as:
- I’m not against you: we’re a team and I want what’s best for your child.
- Raising kids is hard, and I’m here to help.
We also need to share common goals in a way that parents can relate to:
- Preparing for students’ post-secondary life
- Building the skills they need to succeed in life, such as planning, problem solving, empathy, communication, exploration, and emotional regulation
10 tips for improving parent communication
If you’re an experienced teacher, these ideas may not be new to you. Let this list serve as a quick reminder about best practices for parent communication.
1. Be proactive.
Early in the school year (or before conference meetings), send a survey by email and ask parents to share their student’s strengths and challenges, as well as anything they would like you to know about their child and family.
2. Use the right tools.
Use the right communication methods and practices to set expectations, set boundaries, and reduce stress levels. Above all, avoid texting with parents. Phone calls, emails, class websites and newsletters are much more effective ways to communicate. Also, remember to let parents know when to expect replies to their calls and messages.
3. Break the ice.
Make a point of sharing some good news, such as something you noticed and particularly like about their child. Ideally, make a quick phone call for the best chance to establish a relationship with the parent.
4. Avoid assumptions.
Don’t pay attention to rumors and reputations about students and their families. We should never assume we know what’s happening at home. Instead, be curious and learn by asking questions and having real conversations.
5. Get their perspective.
Here’s a great way to start a conversation with a parent: Ask them how they think the school year is going for their child. This shows that we respect their point of view, and can reveal things we may not be aware of.
6. Use the sandwich technique.
When there’s bad news to discuss, surround the negative with positives. Start with something the student is doing well to help the parent relax. Then bring up the issue that needs addressing. Finally, end the discussion with something positive, such as appreciation of the parent’s willingness to work with you and confidence that you can solve the issue together.
7. Acknowledge effort.
It’s wonderful when we can celebrate achievements. But it’s also valuable to acknowledge how hard a student is working toward a goal. Remember that parents may not always be aware of their efforts, so sharing that can be a great way to connect.
8. Encourage school connection.
Schools do so much to bring communities together, including sports, performances, workshops, and celebrations. Encourage parents to visit the school for these positive events. We can also help by inviting parents to participate in classroom activities, such as reading, cultural celebrations or career exploration.
9. Get ideas from students.
Kids can share information that can help us connect with a parent, like their favorite sports team, special talent or area of expertise.
10. Focus on our common goal.
As educators, we have bigger and more far-reaching goals than teaching academics. We are preparing our students for life after graduation with critical skills like effective communication, planning, organization, and emotional regulation. Parents share these goals so referring to them can create common ground and understanding.
Want to share these tips with your colleagues? Download the quick reference.
More resources for school staff
If you found this article helpful, check out Thrive’s online Professional Development for teachers, administrators, counselors, paraprofessionals and more. We also offer Parent Academy and Student Academy sessions on topics related to mental wellness and education. Learn more here.